I want to relate this trait of mine to my topic of choice over the past couple months. Although there are a lot of negative side effects that go along with being a hopeless romantic, I also love this about myself! It makes life interesting. However, as of late, I've tend to drift away from this mindset and have become almost bitter towards it. Especially with the Christmas season in full swing there is so much love in the air, and I'm just not feeling it. I've always loved Christmas, but for the past three years I've experienced Christmas in a new light. It's been about walking through the malls holding hands, sharing hot cocoa, exchanging gifts with that someone special, and cuddling by the fireplace... now I look at couples who are happy and experiencing that same joy that I had felt in prior years and I hate them! Now I know that's not a very nice thing to say, but I told you all I was going to be honest while writing this blog... I see the pictures of adorable text messages on Instagram and I don't like them on purpose. Or when I'm flipping through the channels and there is a cheesy holiday chick flick on about a girl who finds her soul mate on Christmas Eve, I change it...I can't even watch The Grinch or Scrooge because even those movies have happy endings. I've turned into this grumpy jerk who doesn't think anyone should have love because she doesn't. I must say, it is comforting knowing that there are a lot of other single girls out there who are going through the exact same situation as me, who are just as bitter as I am. But this isn't who I am and this isn't who I want to be... I need to find a way to love the little things again.
This is the part of the post where I would normally come up with a solution to this problem...but I got nothing. I'm looking for suggestions! Is this just a phase that everyone goes through after a break up? Will I eventually move past the anger and not cringe whenever I pass a jewelry store? I'm assuming it just takes time...but I thought I'd ask to be sure. Like I said before I want to be a role model for other girls who are going through tough break-ups but I don't have all the answers. I can only teach on the lessons that I have learned, and I am still struggling through this one...
Hey Girl! I happened to stumble upon this on facebook & had to comment. I have journals full of my broken heart in the past so I totally understand and that's why I wanted to write - on the other side of the break up. Part of what you're going through is normal Hun. This is Bri Johns by the way. :) There are alot of memories and places that contain pieces of our heart and so it's hard to see them outside of a relationship. I ge that you feel grumpy but I highly encourage you to have fun right now! You're not missing out anymore than you were missing out on being single when you were taken. It's all a different life experience - to be lived & celebrated & enjoyed. Your "someone special" will come when it's time to enjoy him. Don't pine now for what you don't have. Have a blast with what you do! Be careful with how movies are impacting your reality - Those were written by women (probably) who have dreams like you... But most of that stuff is fantasy. You'll set yourself for major disappointment if you let those influence the way you see love. Trust me. This coming from a self-professed and much therapized Love Addict. :) I love you! I hope you can feel so peace and joy around this holiday. I've got lots of stories about how me and my friends used to have fun with guys... Rotic Nights! (Romantic minus the man). Hang in there sister! Your feelings will pass!
ReplyDeleteDang it! Lots of typos since I wrote you from my phone. My last art was supposed to say "how me and my friends used to have fun WITHOUT guys".
ReplyDeleteHey beautiful girl, what you're going through is so completely understandable, and the fact that you recognize it as a bad thing is definitely step number one to getting past it. I know that you are a huge believer in God, so your best bet would be to put your life completely in His hands. When you say you always expect scenarios in your life to turn out like how they do in movies, who's to say that they're not going to?? You are only 20 years old which is like the first 10 minutes of a 2 hour movie! I know you can't see it now, but there are bigger and better things out there for you. I'm not going to say that you don't need a man, because everyone knows how much fun it is to be in love, but you're at that part in your life where you have quite a few choices to make that will determine your future, so I'm sure God knows this and has made life simpler by eliminating boy drama!
ReplyDeleteI am not sure which Bible you read, but in Proverbs chapter 3: 5-6 it says: 5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
I know it's hard, and I don't really have an answer on how to make it better other than knowing that it will in fact get better and God has a plan for you that only end in you being the happiest you could possibly be!
Megan, you're smart and beautiful and I know you'd rather be happy than bitter. Don't let the past screw up your future. You should remember the bad things only for their lessons, but let go of the negativity. Remember that no matter what you do, you're going to be successful. Even if that means doing it on your own for a little while. You're never alone. You can't see the big, eternal picture from where you stand, but it's there! You need all these experiences to make you a stronger person, so don't try to move on too quickly before you've learned everything that you need to. And start small, girlie. You're not going to wake up one day and be completely over the bitterness, but don't forget to see the beauty in life. Stop and smell a flower. Remember that those old couples who have been together for so long may have had to go through the same thing first before they found each other. Keep your head up and know that I am rooting for you and your happiness!